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Sharing beliefs are an important foundation to any relationship.

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One of them is usually the tell-it-like-it-is black chick.I was that friend as a single — the brown-skinned girl who stuck out like a sore thumb in a sea of white, Reformed faces. Now, married to the husband I used to pray for, I still feel very deeply the effects of those thought processes and environments I faced as a single woman of color in the church.I got used to answering questions about my hair (“Can I touch it? I still find myself looking back and wishing that my white friends knew — or at least admitted — some of the unique struggles that I had to face and that I still watch so many of my sisters in Christ face every day.The other day, I ran into Wal Mart for some hair products.I scoured the shelves for shampoo that wouldn’t destroy my hair.

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